


The lonely moments just get lonelier

by Amber_Flicker



Category: Dark Matter (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Episode: s03e01 Being Better Is So Much Harder, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Unrequited Love, spoilers for s3 premiere if you haven't seen it!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:43:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Flicker/pseuds/Amber_Flicker
Summary: In the Marauder, waiting to run out of air, Two thinks.





	The lonely moments just get lonelier

**Author's Note:**

> Title from House of Memories by Panic!At The Disco

Finding out Nyx was gone was devastating.

 

Two didn't let show just how much it affected her. Couldn't. If she let go of her control over her emotions there would be no stopping the floodgates. There wasn't time to grieve. But now, sitting there, hallucination of Nyx faded away and air nearly gone, there was _not enough_ and _too much_ time. Two couldn't stop her mind from tracing back everything that had led to this. Seeing her... not really her, but a vision of her, it just brought to mind what she'd never gotten to have.

 

It seemed like everyone who got close to her ended up dead. First One- not that she'd felt the same about him as she did Nyx, she'd liked him in a platonic way, but it had been only sex for her, and then Nyx. Nyx, who she never even got the chance to _try_ with. Who she'd never admitted a thing to, because soon enough she was in some sort of relationship with Four, and Two wouldn't get in the way of that. It had seemed to make Nyx happy. She wouldn't ruin someone else's happiness for her own. Especially not Nyx's.

 

That wasn't even bringing in the other bonds, the ones with her crew. The betrayals. The one they hadn't gotten the chance to know before he was murdered. The one that there was no choice now but to destroy; someone who wasn't the person she'd come to know since this whole thing started. The one who redeemed himself and that she was now risking her life to save. But that's what a captain does, isn't it? Go down with the ship. Protect your crew.

 

But she couldn't keep her loved ones safe, so maybe it was better to not love at all. She had no way to remove her crew from her life, couldn't stop caring about them either, not at this point, but that didn't mean she had to let anyone in further. Two could easily push them away. She _would._ Next time, when someone was lost, she wouldn't have to feel like she was being ripped apart. She couldn't allow personal feelings to get in her way anymore, not with her lifestyle. _Face it, you're a magnet for trouble. You're a criminal. No one is safe here._

 

 

She kept telling herself this as her vision went dark.

**Author's Note:**

> A small Two angst fic. I'm not sure if my characterization here is right.
> 
> Wrote this on a whim in an hour, it's not my most polished work.
> 
> Find me at my writing blog cliches-and-coffee, or my Dark Matter blog butfirst-wesavethegalaxy


End file.
